Saturday, December 30, 2017

2017 White Collar Crime Awards

Each year this blog has honored individuals and organizations for their work in the white collar crime arena by bestowing "The Collar" on those who deserve praise, scorn, acknowledgment, blessing, curse, or whatever else might be appropriate. With the appropriate fanfare, and without further ado, The Collars for 2017:

The Collar for Best “Stand Your Ground Defense” – To Rod Rosenstein who continues to stand firmly on Mueller’s appointment.

The Collar for “The Apprentice” Sequel – To Donald Trump for telling U.S. Attorneys “you’re fired.”

The Collar for Dead Air – To Donald Trump for acting so quickly in firing U.S. Attorneys that he didn’t have replacements ready.

The Collar for a Telling Foul Ball – To Ty Cobb (the President’s lawyer, not the late baseball player) for discussing work at a restaurant within earshot of a NY Times reporter.

The Collar for Most in Need of Prevagen –To Jared Kushner for needing to amend his disclosure forms multiple times.

The Collar for Best Adapted Screenplay – To House Republicans, who are using the Clinton Playbook to call for Special Counsel Mueller’s resignation or firing. It was wrong when it was done to Ken Starr and it’s just as wrong now.

The Collar for Newest Pumped-Up Sports – To the Russian Teams for getting tossed out of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games (with a thank you from U.S. baseball for getting them off the front page).

The Collar for Kicking Back a Sport – To International FIFA Executives and others over bribery and kickbacks.

The Collar for Increased Employment of White Collar Attorneys in Washington, D.C. – To Donald Trump and Robert Mueller, jointly, for keeping Washington, D.C., white collar attorneys busy.

The Collar for Clotheslines –To Donald Trump for hanging so many of his subordinates out to dry.

The Collar for Directional Impairment – To Donald Trump for demonstrating that loyalty is a one-way street.

The Collar for Worst Optics by a Prosecutor – To Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance for initially accepting campaign contributions from Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, before and after quashing a fraud investigation of the elder Trump and two of his children (with a thank you from former AG Loretta Lynch for outdoing her airport schmoozing with Bill Clinton).

The Collar for Worst Ghost Writing – To Trump Attorney John Dowd for claiming he authored an arguably incriminating tweet for the president.

The Collar for “But I Play One on TV” – To Donald Trump. Jr. for claiming before a Congressional committee that he did not have to disclose conversations with his father because of attorney-client privilege.

The Collar for Political Detours – To New Jersey Governor Chris Christie who may have lost out on becoming Attorney General because of a logjam on the George Washington Bridge.

The Collar for It’s About Time - To Donald Trump for finally doing what this blog called on someone to do in 2010-11 – granting a commutation to Sholom Rubashkin on his 27-year sentence.

The Collar for Best Dolphin (Flipper) – To Michael Flynn for cooperating in shark infested waters.

The Collar for Least Known Person at the Table – To George Papadopoulos for being the first known to plead guilty in the Russian investigation.

The Collar for Overweight Luggage – To Robert Mueller who may have hired a few too many assistants with excess Democratic Party baggage.

The Collar For Getting Two Bites of the Big Apple - To New York politicians Sheldon Silver and Dean Skelos for getting new trials because their respective trial courts' instructions were faulty under the Supreme Court's later-decided McDonnell decision.

The Collar for Best Game of Hide and Seek – To Donald Trump for continuing to refuse to disclose his tax returns (second year in a row).

The Collar for the Best Parent – Retired years ago and renamed the Bill Olis Best Parent Award – not awarded again this year since no one comes even close to Bill Olis, may he rest in peace.

(wisenberg), (goldman), (esp)

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