Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 White Collar Crime Awards

Each year this blog has honored individuals and organizations for their work in the white collar crime arena by bestowing "The Collar" on those who deserve praise, scorn, acknowledgment, blessing, curse, or whatever else might be appropriate.

With the appropriate fanfare, and without further ado, The Collars for 2014:

The Collar for Attempting to Make the Guinness Book of Records for the Longest Investigation - To Congress for its continued investigation of the IRS.

The Collar for Trying to Be Best Actor in the “Mirror Has Two Faces”– To corporate counsel who think they can represent individuals in a corporation or academic institution while continuing to represent the entity  

The Collar for Continually Hitting the Snooze Button on the Wakeup Alarm – To the Sentencing Commission for putting off for years the recognition that something needs to be done about Sentencing Guideline 2B1.1  

The Collar for Trying to Build the Economy – To DOJ for reaching huge dollar settlements with companies and banks.

The Collar for the Largest Fireworks End of Year Show – To Alstom and DOJ for reaching a $772 Million Settlement

The Collar for Getting Out When the Going is Good – To AG Holder who tendered his upcoming resignation after announcing important clemency initiatives

The Collar for the Case Most Needing Review - Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s conviction   

The Collar for Forgetting What Happened to Humpty Dumpty – To US Attorney Preet Bharara for going too far with insider trading prosecutions

The Collar for the Most Indecipherable Code – To whoever is trying to determine the meaning of how to define insider trading

The Collar for Least Likely to be Teaching Professional Responsibility at a Law School -- The former attorneys at Dewey & LeBoeuf who plead guilty

The Collar for Breaking the Rubber Band When It Was Stretched Too Far – To the DOJ for trying to use the Sarbanes Oxley Act to prosecute a fisherman who threw fish overboard.

The Collar for Role Reversal -To Sidney Powell, who is a female, for her scintillating book Licensed to Lie that exposed prosecutorial shenanigans, but also critiqued the physical characteristics and attire of her DOJ litigation opponents

The Collar for the Most Likely to Fall in a Dominos Game – Anyone who was associated with Bernie Madoff.

The Collar for Justice Finally Served-To the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals that overturned the one remaining Tom DeLay conviction in an 8-1 decision.

The Collar for Most Political District Attorney’s Office -To the Travis Country District Attorney’s Public Corruption Unit. Not satisfied with its humiliating appellate defeats in the Tom DeLay case, the office is now investigating University of Texas System Regent Wallace Hall in a politically inspired witch-hunt.

The Collar for White Collar Integrity-To U.T. System’s outside counsel Phil Hilder whose written report exposed the legal absurdity of the Texas Legislature’s Wallace Hall witch-hunt referral.

The Collar for the Least Likely to Put Up a Fight – To companies charged with Antitrust violations -- that had no trials and 100% of its convictions through plea agreements.

The Collar for Best Non-Fiction -To Rob Cary’s Not Guilty: The Unlawful Prosecution of U.S. Senator Ted Stevens, which builds a devastating critique of the DOJ’s trial team.

The Collar for the Best Child– To Don Siegelman’s daughter, who continues to fight to Free Don

The Collar for the Best Parent - Retired years ago and renamed the Bill Olis Best Parent Award –not awarded again this year since no one comes even close to Bill Olis, may he rest in peace.

(wisenberg), (goldman), (LED), (esp)

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