Friday, March 23, 2007
Special thanks to Rob V. Robertson (attorney, Austin, Texas) who forwarded this hypothetical "advertisement" to me.
"Fatal Accident" Estate Planning Service
Has the failure of Congress in resolving the estate tax issue put a wrench in planning for your heirs? We can help! Our team of experts will guarantee that you pass away in 2010 and avoid the federal estate tax.
Your Demise Guaranteed Or We Pay The Tax. Current tax law eliminates the estate tax for only one year - 2010 - and the tax rate returns to 55% in 2011. If you don't die on time your legatees could lose millions of dollars. We guarantee that you will turn into worm food in 2010 or we pay the estate tax. That's right. You don't have to worry about lingering comas or miraculous resuscitation attempts delaying your death and creating havoc for your executor.
Enjoy the death you've always dreamed of. Our trained professionals specialize in fatal accidents that provide you with a personalized exit from your mortal shell. Did you always say you'd get struck down by a beer truck - we can make it happen. Did your mother warn that you'd drown if you went swimming after eating - we will prove she was right. Did you always imagine a spectacular death that would be featured on the evening news - we promise a fatal accident that will be on the front page and give your relatives something to talk about for many Thanksgiving gatherings to come.
Don't Delay, Plan Your Death Today. We are available 24/7 and will make your date of death as convenient as possible, but there are only so many days in the year, so you need to call now to schedule your accident. Due to popular demand we require an additional 20% peak pricing premium for accidents ordered for Halloween or during the month of December 2010; a 50% premium is required for New Year's Eve. However, for you value shoppers a 10% early bird price discount is available for January 2010 accident scheduling and a couple's discount is also available.
To speak with one of our death planning counselors call (877) DIE-2010 today or visit our web site at www.death-2010.com. All major credit cards accepted. We look forward to killing you.
The fatal accident estate planning service is not available in South Dakota or where otherwise prohibited by law.
[Of course, neither the phone number or Internet address in the "ad" are real.]