You Didn't Submit a Paper -- You Submitted a Hostage Situation

A comment now making the rounds on Facebook . . . .

Student I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my paper?

Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a paper. You submitted a hostage situation.

Hat tip to Linda Edwards

(mew)