Friday, November 3, 2017

Dealing with Difficult People

For professionals, dealing with difficult people provides a challenge and exhausts us. From the National Jurist, legal coach John Allison offers this advice:

It is also important to accept the fact that you cannot change the other person.  You can only control your response to the person’s behavior.  By using one or more of these techniques you can deal with a difficult person without becoming reactive and adversarial:

Remain calm and centered – don’t let the person throw you off balance or put you on the defensive.

Consider the strategy of a martial artist, deflecting the person’s negative energy without becoming reactive.

Draw a clear boundary around abusive behavior.  You are not dealing with the person in order to take abuse.

Understand why you find the person difficult to deal with so you can communicate in a way that reduces the risk of triggering the person’s reactivity. 

At some point you may need to have a frank discussion with the person about the difficulty you are having dealing with him or her.  In that discussion it will be extremely important to avoid criticizing the person or putting the person on the defensive.  Instead, stay focused on the person’s difficult behavior and talk about the effect that behavior has on you.  

 You can read more here.


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