Friday, November 21, 2014

An Exercise in Drafting an Opening Argument

Here is the opening paragraph from Apple’s brief in its patent suit against Samsung:

Samsung is before the court and on trial, because Apple alleges that Samsung copied Apple’s iPhone and iPad.  This conduct was the result of a deliberate decision on the part of Samsung. In its history, Apple has created innovations in product design and user interface technology, which resulted in strong and solid intellectual property rights. With respect to those property rights, Samsung has infringed on them. Try as it might, Samsung cannot deflect the attention it has received from its conduct in copying the patents that it has asserted that it claims that Apple has taken from it.

Here is my rewrite:

Samsung deliberately copied Apple’s iPhone and iPad. It infringed on Apple’s intellectual property rights, that is, its innovative product design and user interface technology. Sumsung unsuccessfully attempts to deflect attention from its copying by alleging patent infringement by Apple. However, as this trial will disclose, Samsung slipped its patents into the UMTS wireless standards. It deceived the international body responsible for creating these standards and thus illegally monopolized technology markets. 

Although my version contains only a few less words than Apple’s, it seems more concise and to the point. It is direct. The focus is on Samsung; Samsung is the subject of every sentence. As a result, the paragraph has direction and tells a story supporting Apple’s case.


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