Monday, November 27, 2023

The "Shefault Parent"

From Above the Law:

The school did not call me — it called my husband.  As it should have. After all, he is listed as the primary contact on the school contact form.

Which brings me to a question: Who is the default parent in your family?

You know. The one who makes all the doctors appointments, schedules all the play dates, is listed as the primary contact on all the school forms, and makes sure that the kid(s?) remain mostly alive and hopefully well as they venture through their school years. I’m willing to bet that in your family, the default parent is actually the shefault parent.

(I can’t take credit for the term “shefault.”  Eve Rodsky, author of “Fair Play” and “Unicorn Space” coined the phrase to call attention to the enormous invisible burden of care-giving and family planning that is so predominately borne by the women in hetero families.)

Read more here.

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