When Adult Kids Divorce

From Psychology Today:

“When my daughter told me she and her husband were divorcing, I was stunned,” said Alice, closing the wedding album with a sigh. “If I ever thought two people were made for each other, they were the ones. When she said it was over I didn’t think What did they do wrong? but What did we?”

It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard that question from a client or a contemporary whose adult child, like nearly a quarter of couples, divorced within the first five years of marriage. And while many, like Alice, blame themselves for their children’s marital failures, even those who don’t wonder whether their kids are giving up too soon.

That was my first reaction when my 30 year-old child, married almost four years, told me, “We’re separating.” There were few hints in that initial statement about why, just some vague comments about not wanting the same things out of life, marrying too young, growing in different directions. But I cried myself to sleep that night thinking about the failure of my own marriage years earlier and wondering whether and how much that history might have influenced hers.

Read more here.