Divorce Announcement

From the satirical McSweeneys:

With a heavy heart, I must announce something profoundly personal and painfully private to my 900,000 followers.

Over the past few weeks, many of you have been asking: “Where is John?” “Why isn’t John in any of your pics anymore?” and “Where did you get that gorgeous floral crop top?”

Well, John and I are getting a divorce. And the top is from Bougie Barn. (Use promo code DIVORCE to get 30 percent off your next purchase.) #BougieBarnPartner.

Our decision to split was not made lightly. John and I spent hours wondering how this would affect our beautiful children and my future content. We asked ourselves tough and critical questions to ensure ending our relationship felt right, like: “How will we co-parent?” and “Should our divorce reveal be a YouTube video, a TikTok, or a hurried Notes app screenshot?”

I know what you’re thinking: “You guys seemed so happy.” Well, that’s because I Facetune smiles on John’s face.

John has always been an integral part of my life and my social media feed, but the time has come for me to choose ME. (Be the first to get your hands on I CHOOSE ME merch via the link in my bio.)

Read more here.