Countdown: A Horror Film About Terms of Service

A student told me about Countdown, so I had to watch it.  I'm not gonna lie.  It's terrible.  But it's also kitschy fun if you like the genre and are obsessed with terms of service.  

The premise is simple.  And yes, ***SPOILER ALERT***: I am going to reveal some plot details!  If you are so addicted to schlocky horror films that you can't bear to miss this one, even though, I assure you, it is after-school-special-style bad, read no further

A bunch of young people discover an app that predicts when you will die.  They all download it for yucks.  First mistake.  None of them bothers to read the terms of service.  Second mistake.  One learns that she will die in a matter of hours.  So she loses the contest.  Drink up, girl!  As the time of her projected death nears, she decides not to let her chivalrous but drunk boyfriend drive her home.  Third mistake.

If only she had read the terms of service!  Then she would know that trying to evade your appointment with death unleashes a creepy demon who then hunts you down and kills you.  That right, if you don't die, you DIE!  And the demon isn't nice about it either.  It subjects you to a series of jump scares before finally killing you (mostly offscreen, because this movie is PG-13).  The young people attempt various schemes to escape their fates.  They delete the app; they buy new phones; they enlist a priest, but this is not The Exorcist. 

In the end good triumphs over evil.  Or does it . . . ?  Countdown 2.0 makes an eery appearance on the hero's phone.   This could be the best horror sequel since The Crows Have Eyes 3: The Crowening.

I wish I could say that Countdown is a thoughtful rumination on our times, like Don't Look Up or Bridgerton.  But no.  If you want serious reflection on living in the age of Terms of Service, I recommend South Park's Humancentipad episode.

H/t: OCU 2l, Jordan Kimball.