Wednesday, June 16, 2021
According to the New York Post, the go-to source for really important breaking news, a woman infiltrated a Hialeah, Florida high school disguised as a student.
Her purpose: to hand out leaflets to students encouraging them to follow her on Instagram.
Her disguise: she wore a backpack and carried a skateboard and could easily have been mistaken for a high student, except that she was handing out leaflets, and high school students are unfamiliar with words written on a piece of paper.
Her downfall: although she escaped arrest by campus security by not stopping when they asked her to, they were able to track her down using:
- DNA evidence
- the microchip injected into her arm with her COVID vaccine
- "pings" from telecommunications towers (like in "Serial) and advanced triangulation techniques
- the Instagram account that they found on the leaflets she was passing out.
If you guessed d, you have earned yourself a free affiliation with the ContractsProf Blog. All you have to do to collect your reward is follow us on Twitter (and following us on Twitter is the reward)!
She was arrested, most likely for creating a hazardous learning environment -- her leaflets could have given students a paper cut! But one person's crime spree is another's inspiration for a marketing ploy.
Anyway, if any young readers are out there, we want you to know that all contributors to the blog totally skateboard all the time. See the picture? That's totally us in Grants Pass, Oregon. Or it may be Wisconsin Neal, who claims to have taken this picture of himself, but how believable is that? After all, if it's in Oregon, why is his name Wisconsin. Seems a bit sus. Also, how did we know it was Grants Pass? Yup, it pretty much has to be us, the blog editors just freestylin' it on our board there.
The point is, we real cool, and you all should follow the blog on Twitter.