Realtor Approved: This House Is Not Haunted

This article in the Baltimore Sun, and other similar articles, tell of a realtor who is trying to get out ahead of the story by posting signs outside of the houses she is trying to sell advertising that the houses are verifiably "Not Haunted."  

How can the realtor, Joy Sushinsky, be so sure?  She interviews the sellers, and if they say the house isn't haunted, that's all the evidence Sushinsky needs.  After all, she reasons, "People know if they’re living in a haunted house. And they’ll tell you.”  Would they?  Under Maryland law, they are not required to do so.

The scene in which the prior owners of the house at issue in The Amityville Horror (right) warn the new owners that the house is haunted must have landed on the cutting-room floor.  Similarly, in the Academy-cward-winning short film, The New Tenants, nobody told the eponymous couple of the triple homicide that had occurred in their new apartment and explained its sudden availability (complete with "dead guy chips").  They didn't even get a break on the rent.  

Nonetheless, Sushinsky is convinced based on personal experience.  She lived in a haunted house, as her cat, the Instagram influencer Killer, would attest, were he still alive.  Unfortunately, the odd bumps in the night ended with Killer's death, so Sushinsky cannot introduce reporters to her ghost, although she insists that her dog will back her story.  In the alternative, Sushinsky also suggests that the "Non Haunted" signs are a joke, as we can all use a good laugh.