How To Get Calmer in Minutes

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

It's time to relax and recharge. If you're a professor or a student, you've likely just started class again. If you're like me, you're already behind and a bit overwhelmed. If you're a practicing lawyer, you may be working at home, in an office, or both. With all of the uncertainty about office re-openings, the economy, wildfires, hurricanes, and COVID, you may be a bit stressed, and not in a good way (yes, there is "good" stress). Lawyers, as we know, have high rates of burnout, chronic stress, suicide, depression, substance use disorders, and other maladies that could affect the way we practice law and our level of fulfillment while practicing. 

I've been a happy lawyer for thirty years. But I've had personal and health challenges, so I've spent most of the past eighteen months learning healing modalities to help me physically and mentally. I've become certified in meditation facilitation, NLP (neurolinguistic programming), EFT (emotional freedom technique)/tapping, reiki, mental health first aid, and hypnotherapy. 

Below are some of the quick fixes that work for me. I've also conducted CLEs for lawyers on stress management, and have received feedback that the methods below work. I've even taken some students through some of these breathing exercises during office hours to help them calm down (admittedly, sometimes I cause that stress). 

Don't worry, I won't ask you to sit in a lotus position chanting "om" or do any yoga poses (although I do that too).

I just want you to breathe. You do this all the time, but are you breathing in a shallow way? Probably. How many breaths are you taking a minute? How are you oxygenating your blood and brain?

As you do more breathwork, try to imagine the breathing coming from your heart (try the HeartMath coherence technique), and make the exhale longer than the inhale. 

Remember, if you feel lightheaded or dizzy, please stop.  I'm not a doctor, so please check with a healthcare provider before trying anything in this post. Once you receive the go-ahead, try them all and see which works for you. Better yet, get your family involved. If you have children, have them participate or count the seconds while you breathe. Soon they may join in. Imagine a world where children grow up with tools to regulate their emotions. 

All of the tips below take 5 minutes or less. If you can go on for longer, that's great. If you only have 1-2 minutes, that works too. But if you say you don't even have a minute for deep breathing, then you need to stop and breathe more than anyone else. 

Tip #1- Breathe through your nose for a count of 4 seconds. Make sure that y 
our stomach expands on the exhale (imagine a baby sleeping with the belly rising and falling). Hold your breath for 2 seconds. Breathe out for 6 seconds through your mouth. Repeat for 3-5 minutes.

Tip #2- Alternate nostril breathing. Close your eyes. Put your thumb over your right nostril. Put your ring finger on your left nostril. Exhale slowly and deeply through your right nostril. Repeat for 3-5 minutes. Longer is better. 

Tip #3- Close your eyes. Put one hand on your heart. Put the other hand on your belly. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 6 seconds. Your hand on your belly should rise. Exhale fully through your mouth. Let out a sound like a big sigh. As you breathe, you can say to yourself, "I breathe in peace, I breathe out stress." Repeat for 3-5 minutes. 

Tip #4- Sit, stand, or lie down. Imagine there is a white column of light 300 feet above your head showering you with light. Imagine your feet are roots going to the center of the earth. Take deep breaths in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. On the inhale, say "peace" and on the exhale, say "calm" or another word. Repeat the breathing and calming phrases for 3-5 minutes while you imagine the light around you. 

Tip #5- 5-4-3-2-1- Take 3, long, deep, slow breaths. With your eyes open, notice 5 things you can see. With eyes open or closed, think of 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Take 3 deep breaths. This is especially helpful when you're feeling anxious because it forces you to focus on the present, even for a few moments.

Tip #6-  If the breathing is too much, find your favorite song. Pick a song you would dance to or sing to no matter where you were. Dance like no one is watching. Sing loudly and badly. Try this for one or two songs. This can both energize and calm you. I often do this between calls and meetings. 

If you want to try something more advanced, try the Wim Hof  breathing method. With Wim Hof, you will be lightheaded. You will tingle. It may be scary. But there are science-based reasons for all of those sensations, and people have seen remarkable results. You can also take cold showers, which have great health benefits. Start at 15 seconds in cold water and then build your tolerance.

If you really want to push yourself, try an ice bath. All of my breathwork and meditation training made it a breeze to sit in a tub of ice for over six minutes. Maybe you don't want to do an ice bath. You just want to make it through the next meeting. You have nothing to lose by trying some of these tips. I'll close with a quote from Oprah Winfrey. "Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure."

Have a safe and healthy holiday. And remember to breathe.