Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Managing Grief and Sharing Our Way Forward (Music Edition)
Like so many law schools, we're navigating our way to online and other remote teaching and learning in a rapid and unexpected way. We started classes yesterday, and it's gone fairly well. Our faculty has worked hard, and our students have been incredibly resilient in the face this adversity we all, unfortunately, share. It does, though, impact people in many different ways.
Some people face additional health risks, financial challenges, childcare problems, technology limitations, learning disabilities, and more, and I have been so impressed with the strength and composure I have seen in our community. I suspect it's that way a lot of places, and I hope so, but it has been remarkable to see.
The Harvard Business Review posted a piece yesterday that framed this whole COVID-19 experience in a way I had not considered. The piece is titled, That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief. I would not have framed it the way, but I think it's an important perspective. The whole piece is worth a read, but here are some important points worth considering:
Anticipatory grief is the mind going to the future and imagining the worst. To calm yourself, you want to come into the present. This will be familiar advice to anyone who has meditated or practiced mindfulness but people are always surprised at how prosaic this can be. You can name five things in the room. There’s a computer, a chair, a picture of the dog, an old rug and a coffee mug. It’s that simple. Breathe. Realize that in the present moment, nothing you’ve anticipated has happened. In this moment, you’re okay. . . . .
You can also think about how to let go of what you can’t control. What your neighbor is doing is out of your control. What is in your control is staying six feet away from them and washing your hands. Focus on that.
Finally, it’s a good time to stock up on compassion. Everyone will have different levels of fear and grief and it manifests in different ways. A coworker got very snippy with me the other day and I thought, That’s not like this person; that’s how they’re dealing with this. I’m seeing their fear and anxiety. So be patient. Think about who someone usually is and not who they seem to be in this moment.
This all makes sense to me, and it is a helpful way to think about things when everything feels a little off. And right now, that seems to be often. Another thing I have tried to do is find some routine and ways to share with one another. We have been having family dinners and family movie night most nights. And we have been reconnecting with friends around the country via phone calls, but more often on Zoom. Sharing some time with friends works remarkably well, at least now that we lack other options interaction.
In the interest of sharing, here are a few recommendations. As to movies and music, if periodic coarse language, drug references, etc., are not for you, my recommendations may not be for you. So in closing, I will share some (mostly new) songs you may not have heard (and I think you should). Be safe, be well, and be good to each other.
1. I think I'm OKAY, Machine Gun Kelly, et al., -- seems about right.
2. how will i rest in peace if i'm buried by a highway?, KennyHoopla (for old guys like me, there's a modern edge with an old techno, maybe New Order, feel)
3. Hit the back, King Princess (sultry, smooth, with a 70s dance vibe, not too sappy).
4. Celoso, Lele Pons (chill Latin dance that's upbeat yet goes well with a cocktail)
5. Don't You (Forget About Me), beabadoobee (Okay, you've probably heard this one, but not this version. Like I said, I'm Gen X).
This is wonderful.
Posted by: Karen Woody | Mar 25, 2020 9:14:43 AM