Dealing With Difficult Clients

Most attorneys have encountered difficult clients. For example, difficult clients may display narcissistic tendencies (covert and malignant), a sense of entitlement, extreme verbosity (i.e., the “loudmouth”), a need for constant attention, and sheer ignorance of the law while believing that they know more than you. Dealing with difficult clients can be stressful, exasperating, and infuriating.

Below are some tips on how to deal with difficult clients.

    1.    Set boundaries.

Difficult clients will often call you incessantly, demand updates, and make unreasonable demands. Indeed, they often believe that their case is the most important in your firm and that you should prioritize their needs over those of other clients.

Consider the following example:

Client: I called you four times yesterday, and you never got back to me. For the money I am paying you, I deserve to get a callback. And you have not given me an update on our case in over a week, and I feel neglected and disrespected. If you are not interested in representing me, I can find someone better. Plus, I have a new theory of the case that I want you to research immediately. I am going to text and email you as soon as I get home from work, and I need to hear from you.

To deal with these insufferable jerks, you must, at the initial client meeting, set boundaries to ensure that the client does not cause intolerable stress and affect your ability to reach a positive outcome. Setting boundaries includes, but is not limited to, providing an honest assessment of the likely cost of the litigation, explaining that you only answer emails during work hours, that you will respond to phone calls and emails within a specific time (e.g., twenty-four or forty-eight hours), and that you only meet when necessary to discuss case updates. Setting boundaries also requires you to explain what you will not accept, such as daily phone calls or emails, unreasonable demands, or disrespectful behavior.

Additionally, understand that difficult clients often seek little more than attention, relying on you to appease their anxiety and uncertainty about the outcome of their case, which can consume hours of your time. To avoid this, use the “gray rock” technique, which requires you to appear uninterested, non-responsive, or emotionally neutral. Put simply, do not get sucked into the client’s drama. If you do, the client will view you as a source of narcissistic supply, or emotional validation, which will result in the client contacting you incessantly and without regard for your professional or personal space.

        2.    Set realistic expectations.

Always be honest with clients about the merits of their cases and the damages they will recover if a positive outcome is achieved. Never over-promise and make representations that the facts and law do not support. If you do this, you are setting yourself up for failure and a malpractice claim. Of course, difficult clients can often appear so sympathetic or charismatic that you feel tempted to provide more hope to the client than realistic. Never give in to this temptation. It invites disaster.

Consider the following example:

Client: So last month I went to the hospital because I sprained my ankle and was in so much pain. The hospital gave me pain medication and I vomited for three days and felt dizzy the whole time. And they never told me about the side effects of the drug. Then, my third cousin, who just started studying at some law school, said I could sue and get millions because she read a case in her class where some lady got millions because she got burned by McDonald’s coffee that was too hot. I want to sue them for fifty million dollars because of the emotional distress this has caused me.

In this situation, immediately explain that he cannot receive fifty million dollars for such a claim. Be honest. Tell the client that any recovery is unlikely, that if the client prevailed, such recovery would be minimal, and that the cost of litigating it would be far more expensive than the money the client would receive. The client may be disappointed, but your integrity matters far more than the client's disappointment.

    3.    Educate clients about the law.

Clients will often think they know more about the law than you. Be sure to explain respectfully that they do not.  State that you have the knowledge and experience to assess the merits of their case and provide a simple but thorough explanation of the relevant legal principles that will govern the issues in the case.

Consider the following example:

Client: I went to Bob’s Pizza Place yesterday and I ate a whole pizza and some pasta because I was so hungry. Before that, for about five days, I had a horrible stomach virus because I ate food at Billy’s Seafood Palace that gave me food poisoning. Then, when I finally felt better, I went to Bob’s and after I ate the pizza and pasta, I got sick again and was vomiting for three days. I missed work and got fired. Then I read an article that said you could sue businesses for negligence when they make mistakes and you are harmed. It is like those tobacco companies who had to pay a lot of money because their cigarettes gave people lung cancer. It is called negligence and I have been researching it and almost feel like a lawyer now.

When a client says something like this, always remain polite and respectful, and show empathy. At the same time, you must explain to the client that a negligence claim will not succeed based on these facts. In so doing, explain the elements of negligence and why, based on the facts, the client's claim does not meet at least one of the elements, particularly causation. If you allow the client to develop a false hope regarding the merits of a case, you are again inviting disaster and a malpractice claim when, inevitably, the case is dismissed.  

    4.    Just say no.

Sometimes, you should turn a difficult client away if they will so be “high maintenance” that the emotional cost of representing them outweighs the benefit of achieving a positive outcome. Be wary, for example, of individuals who display covert or malignant narcissism, are emotionally unstable or severely mentally ill, talk forever and with no focus or restraint, are overly aggressive and demanding, or treat you with disrespect.

Consider the following example:

Client: Now listen. I got money. I got connections. And I had my choice of any lawyer in this state, but I chose you. Do you know what that means? It means you answer the phone whenever I call you. It means you get me results. It means you do what I say. Because you work for me. My last lawyer did not listen to me and I straightened him out, so do not make any mistakes. I mean, I’ve been divorced five times, and now I do not tolerate anyone who does not listen to me.

Just say no.  Run far away – and never look back.

It does not matter how much money these jerks will pay you.  Your happiness, stability, and sanity are far more important than the misery that these people will invariably inflict.

In law and life, you will encounter horrible people. Knowing how to deal with them -- and when to eliminate them from your life – is critical to professional and personal well-being.