January 19, 2008
You better trust your life insurance beneficiary!!
As today's (January 19, 2008) B.C. comic reminds us, "Never go rock climbing with your life insurance beneficiary."
January 19, 2008 in Humor, Non-Probate Assets | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 16, 2008
Holiday Gift Gone Awry
A woman in Phoenix, Arizona received a ceramic vase as a Christmas gift (pictured on the left) that was meant to hold the cremains of a stranger.
See Creepy Christmas gift, CNN Video, Dec. 27, 2007, to see the report about this mix-up.
January 16, 2008 in Current Events, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 08, 2008
The Case of the Vengeful Will
The following will provisions are reported in Jerry Buchmeyer, et cetera, 70 Tex. B.J. 827 (2007):
A will recently probated modified the usual instruction to ‘pay all just debts and obligations.’ Instead, the will provided: ‘None of my debts and credit cards (to be) are to be paid. Let them all go bad and mail each creditor a death certificate.’
Among the instructions for his funeral were these: “I forbid that my ex-wife attend my funeral activities or any future things with the family! I personally hope her and her mother Rot in Hell. I want her to know publicly how much resentment I have for her.”
January 8, 2008 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 03, 2008
Famous Quotes from Famous People
In Echoes of 2007, Est. Analyst (Jan. 2008), Robert L. Moshman is quoting some of the recently deceased celebrities:
“We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.” —Attributed to Leona Helmsley by her housekeeper. This quote was denied by Mrs. Helmsley, but it came to represent her attitude and the “greed is good ethic of the 1980s.***
“I am a Ford, not a Lincoln. My addresses will never be as eloquent as Mr. Lincoln’s. But I will do my very best to equal his brevity and his plain speaking.” —President Gerald R. Ford, died December 26, 2006.
“You can make a throne of bayonets, but you can’t sit on it for long.” —Boris Yeltsin (1931 - 2007).***
“I’ve always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up.” —Beverly Sills
“It’s not what you gather in life, but what you scatter in life that tells the kind of life you’ve lived and the kind of person you are.” —Helen Walton, wife of Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton, died in 2007 at age of 87.***
January 3, 2008 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 19, 2007
Is talking with person after death possible?
The following is an excerpt from a deposition regarding defective construction of a high-rise condominium tower as reported in Jerry Buchmeyer, et cetera, 70 Tex. B.J. 561 (2007):
Q. (By Mr. Smith) Okay. Do you know when Mr. Reynolds passed away?
A. Not exactly, no.
Q. Okay. It was after — after you had talked to him?
A. Oh, yes.
MR. SMITH: Alright. Obviously …
December 19, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 10, 2007
My Will
A humorous will-related video by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury has been posted on youtube.com.
The video is a parody of My Guy, My Girl by Diana Ross and describes a familiar situation where children start showing particular interest in their rich elderly parents in an effort to secure their inheritance.
Special thanks to Neda Jahansouz (J.D. Candidate, Texas Tech University School of Law) for bringing this video to my attention.
December 10, 2007 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 07, 2007
Living Will Humor
The following allegedly true story is from Jerry Buchmeyer, et cetera -- Let It Be, 70 Tex. B.J. 913 (2007):
This marvelous contribution is from Gene Majors of San Marcos (Majors Law Firm, P.L.L.C.), who writes, "Will signings are often somber occasions, but not this one." Gene was a witness at a will signing ceremony, where his daughter — partner Carrie Majors — was explaining the living will to the client, "an attractive, early fifties woman."
Carrie said, "If you are terminal and you don’t want to be on life support, initial here."
With her pen paused over the page, the client asked, "Can I stay on life support until I’m a size 8?"
November 7, 2007 in Death Event Planning, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 04, 2007
Online Swami Stumped by Estate Tax Repeal
Will the estate tax be permanently repealed? That is the question on our minds as we prepare to teach class or advise clients.
In an attempt to gain insight into this important question, Alyssa A. DiRusso (Assistant Professor, Cumberland School of Law, Samford University) decide to consult with the Online Swami.
In response to the question, "Will the estate tax be permanently repealed?," the Online Swami became perplexed and responded, "Don't look at me. I really don't know this."
September 4, 2007 in Estate Tax, Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 31, 2007
Wills & Probate Cartoons
Follow this link for some humorous (and some not-so-humorous) cartoons about wills and probate.
August 31, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 29, 2007
Green Burial or Disrespect
Check out this Wizard of Id cartoon and see if you think it (1) advocates green burial or (2) shows disrepect for the decedent.
Special thanks to Andrew Vaughn (J.D. Candidate, Texas Tech University School of Law) for bringing this cartoon to my attention.
August 29, 2007 in Death Event Planning, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 24, 2007
"Death at a Funeral"
A recently released movie entitled Death at a Funeral may have some estate planning overtones.
Here is a description of the movie from the IMDb. If you have viewed the movie and would like to post a review, please submit it as a comment to his posting.
On the morning of their father's funeral, the family and friends of the deceased each arrive with his or her own roiling anxieties. The son, Daniel (Matthew MacFadyen), knows he will have to face his flirty, blow-hard, famous-novelist brother Robert (Rupert Graves), who's just flown in from New York--not to mention the promises of a new life he's made to his wife Jane (Keeley Hawes). Meanwhile, Daniel's cousin Martha (Daisy Donovan) and her dependable new fiancé Simon (Alan Tudyk) are desperate to make a good impression on Martha's uptight father--a plan that literally goes out the window when Simon accidentally ingests a designer drug en route to the service, leaving him prone to uncontrollable bouts of delirium and nudity in front of his potential in-laws. Then comes the real shocker: a mysterious guest who threatens to unveil an earth-shattering family secret. It is now up to the two brothers to hide the truth from their family and friends, and figure out how to not only bury their dearly beloved, but also the secret he's been keeping.
August 24, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 20, 2007
"Time-Expired" Grave Site


The grave site of Barbara Sue Manire who died in 2005 and is buried in Highland Cemetery in Okemah, Oklahoma, includes the parking meter as shown in the photo showing when she "expired."
August 20, 2007 in Death Event Planning, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 18, 2007
Toast to the Jolly Testator Revisited
Earlier on this blog, I posted a poem entitled Toast to the Jolly Testator attributed to Lord Neaves. In that posting, I asserted the poem was "complete."
This has turned out, however, to be an incorrect assertion. Below is an expanded version of the poem which I will again assert, and hopefully correctly this time, is complete.
Ye lawyers who live upon litigants' fees,
And who need a good many to live at your ease,
Grave or gay, wise or witty, whate'er your degree,
Plain stuff or Queen's Counsel, take counsel of me:
When a festive occasion your spirit unbends,
You should never forget the profession's best friends;
So we'll send round the wine, and a light bumper fill
To the jolly testator who makes his own will.He premises his wish and his purpose to save
All dispute among friends when he's laid in the grave;
Then he straightway proceeds more disputes to create
Than a long summer's day would give time to relate.
He writes and erases, he blunders and blots,
He produces such puzzles and Gordian knots,
That a lawyer, intending to frame the thing ill,
Couldn't match the testator who makes his own will.Testators are good, but a feeling more tender
Springs up when I think of the feminine gender!
The testatrix for me, who, like Telemaque's mother,
Unweaves at one time what she wove at another;
She bequeaths, she repeats, she recalls a donation,
And ends by revoking her own revocation;
Still scribbling or scratching some new codicil,
Oh! success to the woman who makes her own will.'Tisn't easy to say, 'mid her varying vapors,
What scraps should be deemed testamentary papers.
'Tisn't easy from these her intention to find,
When perhaps she herself never knew her own mind.
Every step that we take, there arises fresh trouble:
Is the legacy lapsed? Is it single or double?
No customer brings so much grist to the mill
As the wealthy old woman who makes her own will.
The law decides questions of meum and tuum,
By kindly consenting to make the thing suum;
The Aesopian fable instructively tells
What becomes of the oysters, and who gets the shells;
The legatees starve, but the lawyers are fed;
The Seniors have riches, the Juniors have bread;
The available surplus of course will be nil,
From the worthy testators who make their own will.You had better pay toll when you take to the road,
Than attempt by a by-way to reach your abode;
You had better employ a conveyancer's hand
Than encounter the risk that your will shouldn't stand.
From the broad beaten track when the traveler strays,
He may land in a bog or be lost in a maze;
And the law, when defied, will avenge itself still
On the man and the woman who make their own will.
Special thanks to John T. Rogers (Slusky Law, LLC, Omaha, NE) for pointing out this expanded version of the poem which appears on a webpage maintained by Kenneth C. Salzberg (Associate Professor of Law, Hamline University).
August 18, 2007 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 30, 2007
A Garage Sale Casket
I don't know the source of this picture but I thought it to be most interesting. Would you buy a casket at a garage sale?
July 30, 2007 in Death Event Planning, Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 09, 2007
"The Layman's Guide to Suicide" Seeks New Publisher
Authors Rob Cummings and Tod Weston are seeking a new publisher for their very humorous (if you don't mind "dark" humor) book entitled The Layman's Guide to Suicide originally published in 1995 by Paladin Press.
The authors explain that "[n]othing is worse than an ill-planned, haphazard, last-minute suicide." Here is a summary of the coverage of this book:
- Proper Suicide Etiquette (what you don't know can hurt)
- Income-producing ideas (to help fund better Services)
- Fashion Tips for the big day (based on technique)
- A fill-in-the-blanks Suicide Note (with blame checkboxes)
- Tips on writing your own Epitaph (fun at the services)
- Fun and creative suggestions for your Eulogy
- Advanced Techniques (if you have the time and energy)
- 'Quickies for the Poor' (for those strapped for cash)
- A list of people and things to die for
- How to place the blame on others (and let them know!)
- How to have fun with your Will (we call it 'Will Power')
- Tips on making your Services memorable & exciting!
- Writing your own Epitaph (see some standouts below)
- How (and when) to write and send your own obituary
- What to do if you fail (and are capable of another attempt)
- Much, much more (many more things to consider)
This book grew out of the suicides of the authors' friends. The authors believe that humor may act as a deterrent to actually committing suicide.
I don't know if this is correct but it has been proven that "laughing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases muscle flexion, and boosts immune function * * *. Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and produces a general sense of well-being." Therapeutic Benefits of Laughter, Holisticonline.com. Perhaps Rob and Tod are on to something!
June 9, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 19, 2007
New Attorney Dueling for Estate Planning Position
I recently received an e-mail from a step-mother helping her step-son, a recent law school graduate, to find a position in the estate planning and probate area.
According to the message, "[h]e completed a duel major course of study to get his BA degrees in English and History." Aaron Burr would be proud!
May 19, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 10, 2007
The Testifying Dead?
The following is from Jerry Buchmeyer, et cetera, 70 Tex. B.J. 193 (2007):
D. Clinton Brasher of Beaumont received these marvelous admissions “from defense counsel regarding an employee of theirs (up until the time of his death)” who was listed as a fact witness:
1. Admit that ______ is dead.
RESPONSE: Admit insofar as this question is regarding information regarding the death of ______’s body, as his spirit surely lives on.
2. Admit that ___________ will be unavailable to testify at trial.
RESPONSE: Admit subject to ___’s coming back to life and subsequently testifying in this matter, or, for that matter, testifying through a duly appointed oracle. … Inasmuch as this request for admission is meant to cover such things other than whether or not ____ will be available to testify live at trial, no pun intended, Plaintiff objects to the request as vague.
May 10, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 03, 2007
More Poetry -- Trustee Style
Here is a great poem about why you should "just say no" if anyone asks you to serve as a trustee:
The trustee’s job, I think, does not afford him such a happy lot.
In return for modest fees, he’s subject to a constant squeeze.
And written in the trustee’s bible is the rule: “You’re always liable.”
In view of his how can it be, that anyone would be trustee?
See Daniel M. Schuyler, 56 NW. U.L. Rev. 177, 189 (1961).
May 3, 2007 in Humor, Trusts | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Toast to the Jolly Testator Revisited
Earlier on this blog, I posted a poem entitled Toast to the Jolly Testator attributed to Lord Neaves. It now appears that there is a second part of the poem, less often reproduced, which pokes fun at the "jolly testatrix" who makes her own will. Here is the poem in its entirety:
Ye lawyers who live upon litigants' fees,
And who need a good many to live at your ease,
Grave or gay, wise or witty, whate'er your degree,
Plain stuff or Queen's Counsel, take counsel of me.
When a festive occasion your spirit unbends,
You should never forget the Profession's best friends;
So we'll send round the wine and bright bumper fill,
To the jolly testator who makes his own will.He premises his wish and his purpose to save
All dispute among friends when he's laid in the grave;
Then he straightaway proceeds more disputes to create
Than a long summer's day would give time to relate.
He writes and erases, he blunders and blots,
He produces such puzzles and Gordian knots,
That a lawyer, intending to frame the thing ill,
Couldn't match the testator who makes his own will.Testators are good, but a feeling more tender
Springs up when I think of the feminine gender!
The testatrix for me, who, like Telemaque's mother,
Unweaves at one time what she wove at another;
She bequeaths, she repeats, she recalls a donation,
And ends by revoking her own revocation;
Still scribbling or scratching some new codicil,
Oh! success to the woman who makes her own will.'Tisn't easy to say, 'mid her varying vapors,
What scraps should be deemed testamentary papers.
'Tisn't easy from these her intention to find,
When perhaps she herself never knew her own mind.
Every step that we take, there arises fresh trouble:
Is the legacy lapsed? Is it single or double?
No customer brings so much grist to the mill
As the wealthy old woman who makes her own will.
Special thanks to L. Paul Hood, Jr. for bringing the latter verses to my attention.
May 3, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 26, 2007
Toast to the Jolly Testator
Earlier on this blog, I asked for assistance to locate a a poem or other witticism that essentially says that a counselor's best clients are those that fail to plan or forego paying for sound advice.
Thanks to Andrew J. DeMaio (Neff, Aguilar, Cox, Magee & DeMaio, LLC, Red Bank, NJ), we may have located the poem. It may be Toast to the Jolly Testator attributed to Lord Neaves as follows:
"Ye lawyers who live
upon litigants' fees,
And who need a good many
to live at your ease,
Grave or gay, wise or witty,
whate'er your degree,
Plain stuff or Queen's Counsel,
take counsel of me.
When a festive occasion
your spirit unbends,
You should never forget the
Profession's best friends;
So we'll send round the wine
and bright bumper fill,
To the jolly testator
who makes his own will.He premises his wish
and his purpose to save
All dispute among friends
when he's laid in the grave;
Then he straightaway proceeds
more disputes to create
Than a long summer's day
would give time to relate.
He writes and erases,
he blunders and blots,
He produces such puzzles
and Gordian knots,
That a lawyer, intending to frame the thing ill,
Couldn't match the testator
who makes his own will.
April 26, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 25, 2007
Never Too Old to Rock and Roll
As proof that it is never too late to rock and roll, check out this video of a group from England called The Zimmers performing The Who's classic My Generation.
Here is some information from the group's website:
Formed in early 2007, The Zimmers are not only the oldest gigging band in the world (with an average age of 78), they are also the most celebrated, having recorded their debut album at the famous Abbey Road Studios, under the watchful eye of Acclaimed Producer Mike Hedges.
Oh and by the way, don't tell them you think this is funny, with more aggression than Nirvana and more talent than The Beatles, these OAP's are here to stay. Their first single 'My Generation' is released on May 14th. Expect it to climb faster than a Stenna Stair Lift!
Other songs in THE ZIMMERS repertoire include 'Firestarter' by The Prodigy, 'When I'm (one hundred and) 64' by The Beatles and the live favorite (Jermain Stewarts worldwide hit) 'We Don't have to take our clothes off (to have a good time)'.
You may also find a discussion of this group on Neil Hendershot's blog.
April 25, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 24, 2007
Searching for Quote
I am racking my brain trying to remember/find a quote that I remember from a law school textbook. Perhaps you can help.
It is a poem or other witticism that essentially says that a counselor's best clients are those that fail to plan or forego paying for sound advice. This poem has a general conclusion that clients pay their attorneys much more when they are not counseled ahead of time.
If you have any idea about the source of this quote, please let me know and I'll pass along the information.
April 24, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 19, 2007
Ten Ants in Common
Westlaw is using the graphic on the left to promote its "Smart Tools" on Westlaw which helps catch misspellings and suggest related terms.
Personally, I thought this was very humorous but then, my students have told me that I am easily amused.
April 19, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 09, 2007
Bar Review Lecture Spoof
Follow the link to watch a YouTube video which pokes fun at bar review lectures covering wills and trusts.
The video is from the 2005 University of Virginia Law Libel Show.
Let me know if you get any good ideas to incorporate into your teaching!
Special thanks to Prof. Paul Caron for bringing this video to my attention.
April 9, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 26, 2007
Cremains as a Gas Additive
Car Talk is both a nationally syndicated radio program and a website designed for car enthusiasts. During a recent program, they discussed whether cremains could be used as a gas additive to carry out a listener's body disposition instructions.
The response was something like this, "Ashes in gas likely would clog the fuel filter first. Those ashes not trapped by the filter then would likely plug up the fuel injectors."
To read more about this possibility, see Neil E. Hendershot, Cremation, "Car Talk" Style, PA Elder, Estate & Fiduciary Law Blog, March 26, 2007.
March 26, 2007 in Death Event Planning, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 23, 2007
2010 Brochure on Advanced Estate Planning
Special thanks to Rob V. Robertson (attorney, Austin, Texas) who forwarded this hypothetical "advertisement" to me.
"Fatal Accident" Estate Planning Service
Has the failure of Congress in resolving the estate tax issue put a wrench in planning for your heirs? We can help! Our team of experts will guarantee that you pass away in 2010 and avoid the federal estate tax.
Your Demise Guaranteed Or We Pay The Tax. Current tax law eliminates the estate tax for only one year - 2010 - and the tax rate returns to 55% in 2011. If you don't die on time your legatees
could lose millions of dollars. We guarantee that you will turn into worm food in 2010 or we pay the estate tax. That's right. You don't have to worry about lingering comas or miraculous resuscitation attempts delaying your death and creating havoc for your executor.
Enjoy the death you've always dreamed of. Our trained professionals specialize in fatal accidents that provide you with a personalized exit from your mortal shell. Did you always say you'd get struck down by a beer truck - we can make it happen. Did your mother warn that you'd drown if you went swimming after eating - we will prove she was right. Did you always imagine a spectacular death that would be featured on the evening news - we promise a fatal accident that will be on the front page and give your relatives something to talk about for many Thanksgiving
gatherings to come.Don't Delay, Plan Your Death Today. We are available 24/7 and will make your date of death as convenient as possible, but there are only so many days in the year, so you need to call
now to schedule your accident. Due to popular demand we require an additional 20% peak pricing premium for accidents ordered for Halloween or during the month of December 2010; a 50% premium is required for New Year's Eve. However, for you value shoppers a 10% early bird price discount is available for January 2010 accident scheduling and a couple's discount is also available.
To speak with one of our death planning counselors call (877) DIE-2010 today or visit our web site at www.death-2010.com. All major credit cards accepted. We look forward to killing you.
The fatal accident estate planning service is not available in South Dakota or where otherwise prohibited by law.
[Of course, neither the phone number or Internet address in the "ad" are real.]
March 23, 2007 in Estate Tax, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 17, 2007
Captain America Dies -- What Does His Will Say?
The superhero world continues to reel from the untimely death of Captain America (Steve Rogers) at the hands of Sharon Carter who fired a pistol into Captain America's stomach after she was hypnotized by Dr. Faustus. See Events Leading Up to the Death of Captain America.
The terms of Steve Rogers' will are starting to come to light. Here is what we know so far:
- Steve's will leaves his shield to Stephen Colbert. Mr. Colbert has accepted the shield and has stated, "“Cap? I hope I make you proud.” See Stephen Colbert on the Death of Captain America, March 15, 2007.
- S.H.I.E.L.D. (Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division) is conducting an investigation regarding the authenticity and/or validity of the will.
- There is some speculation that Steve is not actually dead.
Special thanks to Neil E. Hendershot of the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania law firm of Goldberg Katzman, P.C., who also authors the PA Elder, Estate & Fiduciary Law Blog, for recommending that I report on "these weighty matters of great significance to all of us."
March 17, 2007 in Current Events, Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 16, 2007
"Wizard of Id" Comic Insults Lawyers
Today's (March 16, 2007) Wizard of Id comic insults attorneys by implying that lawyers have no worthwhile skills that would permit them to settle in a new community.
March 16, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 14, 2007
Nominations Sought for Oddest Law Book Title
The Law Librarian Blog is sponsoring a contest to identify the oddest law book title.
Nominations Due by March 23. To submit a title, please identify the work in a comment to the post you will find by following this link. Nominations will be accepted until COB Friday, March 23. There is no limit to the number of nominations one may make or when the work was published, but the submitted title must be verifiable.
Don't worry if you don't see your comment displayed immediately. The Librarian Blog (just like this blog) is configured so that all comments have to be approved before publication in order to eliminate comment-spam.
Voting will start on April 2. The Law Librarian Blog editor, Joe Hodnicki, will create an online poll that will be published on the Law Librarian blog on Monday, April 2.
March 14, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 21, 2007
Marvin Acme's Will
An attested will must be in writing. Statutes generally do not specify with what or on what the will must be written. See UPC § 2-502(a)(1). Accordingly, a wide variety of unusual wills have found their way into the courts. Examples of these unique documents include wills written on a nurse’s petticoat, inscribed on a bed post, scratched into the paint of a tractor fender, written on the bottom of a chest of drawers, and etched on an empty egg shell. Although wills on unusual surfaces and marked with untraditional implements may be legally permitted, wills should be prepared with conventional materials such as 8½” x 11” paper and non-erasable ink.
The 1988 movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit includes an interesting writing as a will. Marvin Acme's used "disappearing re-appearing ink" when writing his will. Although untraditional and subject to proof problems, it would seem that, as in the movie, using this type of ink would be sufficient to satisfy the writing requirement.
Special thanks to Kelln Zimmer (J.D. Candidate, Texas Tech University School of Law) for bringing this plot line to my attention.
January 21, 2007 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 18, 2007
Unusual Wills -- Portuguese Style
A recent BBC article discusses an assortment of unusual wills from Portugal and elsewhere. See Patrick Jackson, Where there's a will there's a whim, BBC News, Jan. 17, 2007.
For example, Luis Carlos de Noronha Cabral da Camara picked 70 people at random from a Lisbon phone book and included them in his will thirteen years before he died at age 42 unmarried and without children.
Special thanks to Prof. Joel C. Dobris of the University of California-Davis for bringing this article to my attention.
January 18, 2007 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Top Reasons Not to Have an Estate Plan
Ohio attorney Marc L. Stolarsky has compiled a list entitled Top Ten Reasons For Not Getting An Estate Plan. Here are a few of my favorites:
9. You can be sure to give a lot of your money to an heir who spends it on cool cars and extravagant vacations.
6. You don't need peace of mind; who needs all that sleep anyway?
5. Because you'll have to be filing many documents in probate court you can help to keep the paper makers in business and thin out the unsightly forests.
4. If you have jointly held property with someone you trust you can help them pay their debts when a collection agency attaches it.
3. All your personal information can become pubic record and will be read and gossiped about by your friends and neighbors for many years to come.
1. Your loved ones will be brought closer together as they fight over your personal property, like your recliner, cheap jewelry and complete collection of Doris Day records.
January 18, 2007 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 02, 2007
Nostradamus's Last Will and Testament
As I recently passed the supermarket checkout counter, my attention was caught by the current issue of the Sun which reports that a team of French historians have recently discovered the last will and testament of Nostradamus. See Found! Nostradamus Last Will and Testament, Sun, Jan. 8, 2007, at 20.
According to this report,
Nostradamus began his will be declaring his love for his wife, Anne, and their children and dividing his worldly fortune of 3,444 crowns, a considerable sum, among them.
The highly researched and extensively cited article (read with a sarcastic tone of voice) also explains how Nostradamus who died in 1566 "specifically [said] that the price of gasoline at American pumps will exceed $6 a gallon before the end of 2007." There are also more shocking predictions regarding, among other topics, radiation poisoning, World War III, sex scandals in the White House, and a senator who will "boast that he has given sensitive national security information personally to Osama Bin Laden" and who will then "disappear in a cloud of sulfurous smoke."
January 2, 2007 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 07, 2006
Cemetery Euphemism
Today's (December 7, 2006) The Wizard of Id comic shows a funeral director replacing the entrance sign to the "Cemetery" with one that reads "Expired Human Resources."
December 7, 2006 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 05, 2006
Comical Will Provisions
A San Antonio lawyer has recently furnished me with a copy of an actual will containing the following "interesting" provision:
The [Charitable Beneficiary] will have a group of people minimum of five (5), sing, anything they choose, in English, at my late wife's * * * gravesite, in the City Cemetery * * * at noon, every 27th day of the month, every month, in perpetuity whether it falls on Sundays or Holidays, for at least fifteen (15) minutes. The participants do not have to be professional singers or even be able to carry a tune.
In the same will, the testator included a detailed no-contest clause which is labeled as "Terrarium Provisions."
December 5, 2006 in Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 26, 2006
"Fill Out the Policies, Mother"
You may enjoy listening to a novelty song, sung in barbershop quartet style by Sherman & Larsen, entitled Fill Out the Policies, Mother.
Here are the lyrics:
It's just a formality, mother,
Sign on the dotted line.Fill out the policies, mother,
Twenty-five cents at a time.Last year daddy died
Of a strange malady,Now sister is gone,
There's just you and me ...So fill out the policies, mother,
Insurance should not be ignored.You've signed it and so,
There's one more to go,Here's your box-lunch,
Now hurry aboard.Just one more formality, mother,
Here's your unsigned will.Strange, how I found the thing with me,
Does your fountain-pen need a refill?And, finally now, here's your property deed.
Your power-of-attorney is all that i need.So, fill out the papers, dear mother,
And you will rest easy tonight,Knowing if you should die,
I'll be one wealthy guy!Here's your box-lunch,
Now get on that flight!
Special thanks to H. Carter Hood of the Washington, D.C. firm of Ivins, Phillips & Barker for bringing this song to my attention.
September 26, 2006 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 10, 2006
Wills & Trusts -- Bar Review Style?
The video previous available via this posting is no longer available.
September 10, 2006 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 26, 2006
Determining Proper Amount of Life Insurance
Follow this link to read The Wizard of Id comic strip from May 25, 2006 which provides insight on how a married person may determine whether he or she has sufficient life insurance coverage.
May 26, 2006 in Humor, Non-Probate Assets | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 02, 2006
Pizza & Dead Bodies -- An Odd Combination?
A recent report out of Pennsylvania explains how a pizza delivery driver uses the same vehicle, although not at the same time, to also deliver corpses for a funeral home. The report states that
a police check with health officials determined that, though undoubtedly nasty, using the same car to deliver dinner and the deceased did not violate local ordinances.
See Would You Like a Stiff With That Slice?, FoxNews.com, April 30, 2006.
Special thanks to Douglas Cowan for bringing this report to my attention.
May 2, 2006 in Current Events, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 27, 2006
I would be afraid, very afraid
Bruce Williams is the author of a popular syndicated financial advice column entitled Smart Money.
In his March 21, 2006 column, Mr. Williams reprinted a letter from an Idaho reader who wrote:
This summer, I will be inheriting approximately $100,000. My current mortgage balance is $40,000. Should I use this money to pay off my mortgage or invest the entire amount?
The answer addressed the financial question but begged the question that first came to my mind, "How does the reader know he is going to inherit 100Gs?" If were related to this reader, did not have a will, and had sufficient funds that under intestacy someone would inherit about $100,000, I would not be sleeping very well ----
March 27, 2006 in Humor, Intestate Succession | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 07, 2006
Should I Quit My Job?
According to the below e-mail message, I am going to receive $5,100,000 from the estate of William Hide!! Today is indeed my lucky day.
NOTIFICATION OF BEQUEST
This is sequel to your non response of our earlier letter to you on behalf of the Trustees and Executors to the Will of late of Engr. William Hide (KSM), I wish to notify you that you were listed as a beneficiary to the bequest of the sum of Five Million One Hundred Thousand US Dollars in the codicil and last testament of the deceased.
This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you well.
The late Engr. William Hide until his death was a former Managing Director and pioneer staff of a big construction company Julius Berger BV in the United Kingdom. He was a very dedicated Sufis and a great philanthropist during his life time.
Late Engr.William Hide died on 9th February 2005 at the age of 69,He was buried on the 23rd of February. Late Engr.William Hide even though he was an American living and working in London as a foreigner he requested before his death that he be buried here in his words, "I regard here as My home and the people as my people". He said that this token is to support your ministry and help to the poor and less-privileged.
I hereby request that you forward to us your full contact details, your current telephone and fax numbers and your forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at the High Court of Justice probate division for the release of this bequest of money.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Earl Spencer
But, don't worry -- I really do know this is a scam. You can read more about it at E-Mail Scams and Government Gone Sour.
Special thanks to Alejandro Ballesteros for sharing this message with me.
March 7, 2006 in Current Events, Humor, Wills | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 19, 2006
Songs to Teach Intestacy By
Assistant Professor Julia Belian of Creighton University supplied me with the following song lyrics which she finds useful in teaching intestacy concepts. Now if only I could sing ---
THE BASIC RULES OF INTESTATE SUCCESSION
No one takes if they have an ancestor who takes.
(Set to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It”)If your parent got a share, then you get none;
If your parent got a share, then you get none;
You can only get a share
If your dad’s (mom’s) no longer there
If your parent got a share, then you get none.“The Rule”
(Set to the tune of “Yankee Doodle”)One share for each child then living,
one share for each child who
predeceased but only if they still have living issue.
Every distribution scheme
Splits the shares the same way;
Use this rule on your exam
And you can get a good grade!Per stirpes distribution
(Set to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”)Per stirpes, per stirpes
By the roots of the family trees
Siblings will have to divide one share.
“Only” kids end up as only heir!
Big families think it is so unfair
With per stirpes.Per capita distribution
(set to the tune of “Silent Night”)Bundle and drop, bundle and drop,
Per capita, bundle and drop.
Shares of decedents with issue alive
Add them together and then you divide
All their kids take equally;
All their kids take equally.
January 19, 2006 in Humor, Intestate Succession, Teaching | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 11, 2006
Quote from Ambrose Bierce
A famous quote as penned by author Ambrose Bierce:
"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate."
Special thanks to Kristopher Moore for bringing this quote to my attention.
January 11, 2006 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 31, 2005
Who is the Funniest Supreme Court Justice?
Research by Prof. Jay D. Wexler (Boston University) reveals that the funniest justice on the United State Supreme Court during the last term of the Court is Antonin Scalia. Prof. Wexler's work is summarized in Adam Liptak, So, Guy Walks Up to the Bar, and Scalia Says..., NY Times, Dec. 31, 2005. Here are some of his other findings:
Transcripts of oral arguments at the United States Supreme Court have long featured the notation "[laughter]" after a successful quip from a justice or lawyer. But until October 2004, justices were not identified by name, making it impossible to construct a reliable index of judicial wit. * * *
Justice Scalia was the funniest justice, at 77 "laughing episodes." On average, he was good for slightly more than one laugh - 1.027, to be precise - per argument.
Justice Stephen G. Breyer was next, at 45 laughs. Justice Ginsburg produced but four laughs. Justice Clarence Thomas, who rarely speaks during arguments, gave rise to no laughter at all. * * *
Professor Wexler concedes that his methodology is imperfect. The court reporters who insert the notations may, for instance, be unreliable or biased.
The simple notation "[laughter]" does not, moreover, distinguish between "a series of small chuckles" and "a joke that brought the house down." Nor, Professor Wexler said, does it separate "the genuine laughter brought about by truly funny or clever humor and the anxious kind of laughter that arises when one feels nervous or uncomfortable or just plain scared for the nation's future."
December 31, 2005 in Current Events, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 04, 2005
Another Ironic Funeral Home Name
Earlier on this blog, I posted a notice of an ironic funeral home name (Sparkman).
Here is another -- the Amigone Funeral Home operated by the Amigone family in and around Buffalo, New York.
Special thanks to Tiffany Colunga for bringing this business to my attention.
December 4, 2005 in Death Event Planning, Humor |
