TortsProf Blog

Editor: Christopher J. Robinette
Widener Commonwealth Law School

Monday, December 17, 2007

Children v. Santa

Friend of TortsProf Andrew McClurg (Memphis) has a fun site of legal humor; its three-pack of classics from his time writing the Harmless Error column for the ABA Journal right now has two faux complaints, including one for the Children of the World v. Santa Claus, and a later claim by Santa against the kids.  From the former:

Count III – Infliction of Emotional Distress. On the relevant night, defendant knew or should have known that plaintiffs were snug in their beds with visions of hand-held video games and name-brand athletic apparel dancing in their heads. Despite such knowledge, defendant willfully and maliciously concealed off-brand goods and inherently worthless property such as sweaters and umbrellas in packages that misrepresented their true contents. Plaintiffs suffered severe emotional shock and fright upon opening such packages.

He also has a page featuring an outstanding hypothetical product label for a ladder.  Among the multiple items:

Always follow these basic safety precautions: Step 1: Spray two tons of foam insulation around base of ladder. Step 2: Encase yourself securely in plastic bubble wrap (DO NOT POP BUBBLES. THIS IS SERIOUS.). Step 3: Wear a helmet approved by the National Football League, but not the one Troy Aikman uses. Step 4: Hire an independent contractor to climb up the ladder and get the hell out of the way.

Worth spending some time, especially if you're in the midst of grading...


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