Wednesday, September 10, 2008

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

While you may be familiar with the Bulwer-Lytton contest for perfectly awful writing, you may not know (I didn't) about the Washington Post's invitations for reader submissions of awful analogies in 1995 and 1999. According to this post at The (new) legal writer, a collection of these amusing/disgusting comparisons has been making the e-mail rounds, purporting to have been taken from actual high school essays.

In addition to the simile we borrowed for our headline (submitted by Jennifer Hart of Arlington, VA), the Washington Post collection includes these beauties:J0178497

  • The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black. (also submitted by Jennifer Hart)

  • The painting was very Escher-like, as if Escher had painted an exact copy of an Escher painting. (submitted by Joseph Romm, Washington)

  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. (Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)

  • Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

  • Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quid \aaakk/ch@ung by mistake. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)


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Oh my God, oh my God... I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts like when I laugh too hard after a very bad joke. Ouch!

Posted by: Eikin Kloster | Apr 16, 2009 11:29:45 PM

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