August 21, 2007
According to Beloit College, these are characteristics of our 1-L students (assuming 4 years of undergrad and then entering law school):
- Ricky Nelson, Richard Burton, Samantha Smith, Laura Ashley, Orson Welles, Karen Ann Quinlan, Benigno Aquino, and the U.S. Football League have always been dead.
- They are not familiar with the source of that "Giant Sucking Sound."
- Iraq has always been a problem.
- "Ctrl + Alt + Del" is as basic as "ABC."
- Paul Newman has always made salad dressing.
- Pete Rose has always been a gambler.
- Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents.
- An automatic is a weapon, not a transmission.
- Russian leaders have always looked like leaders everyplace else.
- The snail darter has never been endangered.
- There has always been a screening test for AIDS.
- Gas has always been unleaded.
- They never heard Howard Cosell call a game on ABC.
- The United States has always had a Poet Laureate.
- Garrison Keillor has always been live on public radio and Lawrence Welk has always been dead on public television.
- Their families drove SUVs without "being fuelish."
- There has always been some association between fried eggs and your brain.
- They would never leave their calling card on someone’s desk.
- They have never been able to find the "return" key.
- Computers have always fit in their backpacks.
- Datsuns have never been made.
- They have never gotten excited over a telegram, a long distance call, or a fax.
- The Osmonds are just talk show hosts.
- Undergraduate college athletes have always been a part of the NBA and NFL draft.
- They have always "grazed" for food.
- Three-point shots from "downtown" have always been a part of basketball.
- Test tube babies are now having their own babies.
- Stores have always had scanners at the checkout.
- The Army has always driven Humvees.
- Adam and PC Junior computers had vanished from the market before this generation went online.
- The Statue of Liberty has always had a gleaming torch.
- They have always had a PIN number.
- Banana Republic has always been a store, not a puppet government in Latin America.
- Car detailing has always been available
- Directory assistance has never been free.
- The Jaycees have always welcomed women as members
- There has always been Lean Cuisine.
- They have always been able to fly Virgin Atlantic.
- There have never been dress codes in restaurants.
- Doctors have always had to deal with "reasonable and customary fees" and patients have always had controls placed on the number of days they could stay in a hospital.
- They have always been able to make photocopies at home.
- Michael Eisner has always been in charge of Disney.
- They have always been able to make phone calls from planes.
- Yuppies are almost as old as hippies.
- Rupert Murdoch has always been an American citizen.
- Strawberry Fields has always been in New York.
- Rock and Roll has always been a force for social good.
- Killer bees have always been swarming in the U.S.
- They have never seen a First Lady in a fur coat.
- Don Imus has always been offending someone in his national audience.
In all fairness it should be understood that students entering college this fall do have a few items on their own lists that will separate them from many of their mentors:
- For many of them today, it’s all about the "bling, bling."
- They know who the "heroes in a half shell" are.
- Peeps are not a candy, they are your friends.
- They have been "dissing"and "burning" things all their lives.
- They can expect to get a ticket for "ricing out their wheels."
- They knew how to pop a Popple and trade a Pog.
- They can still sing the rap chorus to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the theme song from Duck Tales.
hat tip: Tracy McGaugh, Touro
August 21, 2007 | Permalink
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