Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Losing helps us develop the resilience to succeed

Apropos to yesterday's post about the desirability of a tougher law school grading curve to help students learn to forge ahead in the face of disappointment, today's New York Times featured an editorial by the author of Top Dog:  The Science of Winning and Losing who essentially agrees saying that losing helps us develop the character traits necessary to succeed.  In life, we're going to lose much more than we're going to win so learning to deal with it in order to press forward is an important learnng experience that's all too often absent in our Lake Wobegon culture.  An excerpt:

Losing is Good for You. 

. . . .  

Trophies were once rare things — sterling silver loving cups bought from jewelry stores for truly special occasions. But in the 1960s, they began to be mass-produced, marketed in catalogs to teachers and coaches, and sold in sporting-goods stores.

Today, participation trophies and prizes are almost a given, as children are constantly assured that they are winners.

. . . .

Po Bronson and I have spent years reporting on the effects of praise and rewards on kids. The science is clear. Awards can be powerful motivators, but nonstop recognition does not inspire children to succeed. Instead, it can cause them to underachieve.


Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, found that kids respond positively to praise; they enjoy hearing that they’re talented, smart and so on. But after such praise of their innate abilities, they collapse at the first experience of difficulty. Demoralized by their failure, they say they’d rather cheat than risk failing again.


In recent eye-tracking experiments by the researchers Bradley Morris and Shannon Zentall, kids were asked to draw pictures. Those who heard praise suggesting they had an innate talent were then twice as fixated on mistakes they’d made in their pictures.

. . . .

Having studied recent increases in narcissism and entitlement among college students, she warns that when living rooms are filled with participation trophies, it’s part of a larger cultural message: to succeed, you just have to show up. In college, those who’ve grown up receiving endless awards do the requisite work, but don’t see the need to do it well. In the office, they still believe that attendance is all it takes to get a promotion.


In life, “you’re going to lose more often than you win, even if you’re good at something,” Ms. Twenge told me. “You’ve got to get used to that to keep going.”


When children make mistakes, our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss, and to help them graciously congratulate the child who succeeded when they failed.

Continue reading here.

(jbl).

http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/legal_skills/2013/09/losing-helps-us-develop-the-resilience-to-succeed.html

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