Friday, February 26, 2010
Posted by Alan Childress
We will get back to our tape delay coverage of that exciting Third Quarter in a little while, but currently some of the big plays are being made by Jonathan Vilma, and he is not from the United States, so we will await further coverage of that magnificent Third Quarter. Wait, I am hearing that Vilma is from Haiti, so we do care about him, not to show any plays of his, but let's go to a feature story where we exploit his family tragedy using a special hushed tone. Here is Kathy Lee with a background story on that. Now we are back, but we just learned that two American players do not like each other very much, and that one is "bummed' about the other's attitude, so we will return to the Third Quarter in time to pick it up near the end of the quarter, after first showing you these interviews where each of the players, both American, take back the more extreme things they said on twitter about each other, and profess how it is a healthy competition and a friendly rivalry.
You know, I wonder what Joseph Addai, who is actually American, would think it would be like to live as a wizard at the time of the dinosaurs. Better have that wand handy! Let's cut to a feature about the new Miramax movie, out in April, called the Wizards of Crustacea. That was great, and we start the Fourth Quarter, or did about an hour ago, with New Orleans in the lead but Indy surging. Check out this background story by Chris Collingsworth on downhill skiier Bode Miller, even though Chris never skis and is new to watching the sport. OK, back from that -- and we learned that Bode does care, every eight years or so, thanks Chris -- we go down to the field, LIVE!, to interview Tracy Porter, from the United States, who we learned has made some remarkable play on a Payton Manning pass before the game ended. You know, Manning has a brother who plays football, named Eli even though he was raised in America, and he also has one at home that used to, before injury. Some say Cooper Manning may have been the best athlete in that storied family. Here is the cast of Jersey Shore, interviewing Cooper's dad Archie about Cooper's injury. Now here's the Situation: Cooper is from New Orleans, like his brother Eli, and we have this amazing feature on how New Orleans is using high school football on Friday nights to ease the pain of tragedy.
And Porter did indeed make a crucial interception, we are told, which tennis great Martina Navritilova, who became an American citizen, will show us later anchoring our late night show. In a flashback set to Nickelback. Hey, now Porter is Never Going To Be Alone on Bourbon Street. Wait. More on that Wizards-Rex movie after this commercial break from McDonald's, where you don't just get a toy if you eat a kid's meal, it's called a "prize." Gotta love that, a prize for eating fat. We're all winners. But NFL athletes eat at McDonald's too so you know it's athletic for you.