Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Miracle Whip Makes A Great Proxy Demographic

I grew up on Miracle Whip.  Miracle Whip on sandwiches.  Miracle Whip on bananas, called "a salad."  On peanut butter.  On peanut butter and banana sandwiches.  It tastes (I eventually realized) actually vile, despite being a combination of two normally-fantastic paired food groups--not-fully-liquefied fat, and sugar.  I propose, though, that MSNBC start using its consumers as a demographic less in-your-face than the ones they use now to chart the die-hard Hillary supporters.  Or CNN could break out pie charts of how Hillary just killed with the Michael Bolton/Kenny G subpopulation, though this hardly separates them from MSNBC if in fact those performers are the musical equivalent of Miracle Whip. Maybe we should just junk all racial and gender groupings and just admit that those who clap along on the on-rhythm vote for Hillary and those who clap on the off-rhythm vote for Barack.

You know, it is quite possible for Democrats who happen to be white males to support Obama, just as it is a fact, lost on the pundits, that many many supporters of Hillary Clinton are from all over the sweety fat spectrum.  I have not seen this much segregated media profiling since those market-targeted McDonald's commercials.  [Alan Childress]

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