Saturday, August 4, 2007

If I Had A Hammer...

I'd use it on my former builder.

Hammer The picture of yours truly at right is testimony to the limited ability of the legal system to make the world work as it should.  Suffice it to say that my long-since defunct and jailed builder didn't properly seal the foundation and floor joists and skimped on setting the footings for the columns holding up the deck.  I am currently trying to find out who his liability insurer was, whether he had an occurrence-based policy, and whether I might be able to make a direct claim on it.

The sledge hammer belongs to the masonry and excavation contractor now on site.  I borrowed it to try my hand.

[Jeff Lipshaw]

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Tracked on Aug 15, 2007 4:45:48 PM


I'd prefer an electric jackhammer...or, if it need be a sledgehammer, one with a fiberglass handle (I've busted too many wood ones).

Please get rid of those white tennis shoes, a sure sign of (dangerous) homeowner on the loose: for the price you paid for those you could get some nice Red Wing work boots (low ankle variety if you insist on wearing shorts).

And one hard swing and that digging/tamping bar leaning on the column will fall over, hopefully not on your tennis shoe clad toes. And be advised, if you're really swinging that thing, small chips may fly up and make contact with your glasses, scratching the lens for ever more.

Posted by: Patrick S. O'Donnell | Aug 4, 2007 12:38:10 PM

I have some steel-toed work boots inside. I just wanted to pose as "Jeff Lipshaw, that steel-drivin' man."

Posted by: Jeff Lipshaw | Aug 4, 2007 1:00:23 PM

That's what I figured, hence I couldn't resist commenting.

Posted by: Patrick S. O'Donnell | Aug 4, 2007 1:11:07 PM

In other words, you might make more of an effort to at least look like John Henry: see sculpture here

And as the following makes plain, you need a partner to complete the picture: "A steel driver worked with a partner. The partner held in place a steel shaft with a cutting head that the 'driver,' often working from awkward angles, forced into the native stone with repeated strikes of his hammer."

I suppose you could have done worse: posing as, say, Paul Robeson in the 1940 film, The Proud Valley:

Posted by: Patrick S. O'Donnell | Aug 4, 2007 1:26:22 PM

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