Friday, August 3, 2007

A Rose By Any Other Name Still Has Thorns

Posted by Alan Childress

If you appreciate the ironies of some names, you' d like the email sent to us by Jackson Missippi lawyer, and apparent LPB reader, Jane Hicks (who is anything but).  There was a murder investigation she read about this week.  She wondered whether this is the "best name for a murderer yet?": 

EAST POINT, Ga. - The owner of a car dealership has been accused of killing two employees because they kept asking for pay raises.

Rolandas Milinavicius has been charged with two counts of murder in the shooting deaths of Inga Contreras, 25, and Martynas Simokaitis, 28.

Obviously from the Cruella De Vil school of naming.  Of course, as a former GC to a big company, Jeff may feel that there are fewer better motives for offing someone than repeated salary requests.  [And some Republicans would point out that this is the inevitable secondary effect of raising the minimum wage.  Guns don't kill people; the minimum wage does.]  At least I am confident that Jeff would feel that it is justifiable homicide when a GC finds out that his or her CEO has been blogging under a thinly veiled pseudonym about the company and its rivals, thereby in effect taunting the SEC to "come and get me."

My reply to Jane is that Rolandas is beat hands down by the murder trial and conviction in New Orleans four years ago of a rap artist who was born Corey Miller.  The headline was: "C-Murder Found Guilty Of Second-Degree Murder, Receives Life Sentence."  In the law biz, we call that Res Ipsa Loquitur.  C-'s post-conviction life has been a roller coaster, including having the conviction overturned and then reinstated.  If he does get a new trial, I understand that adopting the nom de rap of C-Manslaughter is not so compelling in the artiste world, but it may help with a jury here in the real world.  I think he got that message:  a 2006 Rap News Network story refers to him as "Corey Miller, the jailed rapper formerly known as C-Murder...."  Take that, Roger Nelson and Gordon Sumner.  Face it: the real world just has a bias against anyone whose little friends could knock on the front door and ask, "Good morning Mrs. Murder.  Can C- come out and play?"

In fact, eventually C-'s conviction was again overturned in 2006 and he was freed, though he was still  awaiting trial in a different attempted murder case.  He has changed his name, keeping the C-.  He is now named C-Miller. C-Miller, or different?

Of course, in 1989, former Georgia Congressman Pat Swindall was convicted of perjury, essentially of lying about his involvement in a drug-money laundering scheme.   He was prosecuted by Bob Barr.  And the best named federal judges, from a positive standpoint, have got to be Judge William Wayne Justice of the E.D. Texas, and Fifth Circuit legend the late John Minor Wisdom.

You are overeducated and still immature if you giggle every time you see a home security sign on the front lawn of someone protected by the Masada Security Co. of Tampa (I've seen signs in New Orleans, and giggled).  "Thank God you answered!  There's an intruder in my home!  Send the police right away!"  Uhr, "Ma'am, our premium deluxe service consists of suggesting that at this point you simply commit suicide."  Timeless advice.  In a similar vein, I tell people that my yard on Carthage Street does not seem to grow a thing, and then laugh, and they stare at me blanklike.  I once saw ads for Amelia Earhart Luggage.  Bad branding.  I must have unknowingly used that brand while flying this summer.

Unrelated, the Minor Wisdom blog by Ray Ward has a nice post on the Monty Hall Paradox.  See if you can figure it out -- very counterintuitive bar bet.

Imagine that you’re on a game show like Let’s Make a Deal. The host, Monty Hall, presents you with three doors. Behind one is a new car; behind the other two are goats. You choose door # 1. Monty then opens door # 3, behind which is a goat. Monty then offers you the chance to switch your choice to door # 2. Should you switch, or should you stick with door # 1?

Most people answer that it doesn’t make a difference, thinking that the odds are 50:50 that the new car is behind either remaining door. That’s the wrong answer. ... If you switch, you double your chances of winning the new car.

Ray is from New Orleans and has eclectic musical tastes; I bet he listens to C-Murder.

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Well, I don't have any C-Murder CDs, but back in February 2005, I did give him my "Brass Gonads" award.

Posted by: Ray Ward | Aug 3, 2007 10:46:07 AM

I liked the fact that one of the female victims was named Contreras, too. A lesson for all of us contrarian women.

Posted by: Jane Hicks | Aug 7, 2007 10:10:46 PM

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