Monday, April 30, 2007

Traumatic Moving Story Contest

We are set to move in mid-June from Indianapolis to the Boston area, and it occurred to me, what with Larry Solum's list of 160+ new law professor hires, and the extensive list of lateral moves over at PrawfsBlawg and Concurring Opinions, that a schematic of all those moves would look like the orbitalVan paths of a heavy atom.

I figured, come September, there should be some truly memorable stories of moves gone terribly, terribly wrong.  It seemed to me that we here at LPB could offer some consolation in advance.  So we'd like to announce the "Most Likely to Induce Heartfelt Sympathy" Moving Story Contest. Even as your furniture is being broken, or your car scratched, or your books lost, or your apartment not ready, or your basement flooded, or your buyer in the old house backing out of the closing two days before you have to close on the new house, you'll have a chance to tell the story Katrina and, if our judges like it (they are currently residing in an undisclosed location), you'll have a chance to win the pictured t-shirt (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) right out of Alan Childress's top drawer.

Here are the contest rules:

1.  You must be eighteen years or older to enter, and must be moving your household more than fifty miles in connection with a full-time entry level or lateral law professor job.  Tawdry and/or sickening tales of area code marriages and awful commutes are not welcome (that's what Delilah is for).

2.  Stories may not exceed 250 words unless they are capable of peer review scrutiny in which case please don't send them to us.

3.  We cannot guarantee that we will acknowledge receipt or even read them.  Funny is good.  Sending a link to a well produced You Tube works.

4.  All decisions of the judges are completely, totally, and irrevocably final, unless we make a mistake.

5.  Delivery of one Harrier jet to Alan Childress's house in River Ridge, Louisiana (please don't park it on the street) along with a word for word perfect recitation of the opinion in Leonard v. Pepsico, Inc. will make that entrant the presumptive winner.

6.  If Alan doesn't want to give up that t-shirt, the sponsors have the discretion to substitute any other valueless khazzerei as the prize.

7.  Offer void where prohibited and to anyone moving to assume a chair endowed by a resident of Kalispell, Montana.

8.  The best stories will be published here, and submission constitutes permission to publish.  Consider this when submitting stories about disputes with the dean about reimbursement.

9.  Employees of Legal Profession Blog and their families are not eligible to participate.

10. Entries must be e-mailed, postmarked, or sealed with a kiss before 11:59 p.m. on September 30, 2007.

[Jeff Lipshaw]

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