Wednesday, April 4, 2007

By Any Measure. . .

Miranda Perry Fleischer over at PrawfsBlawg has invited us to think about the relative incommensurability of being a law professor and the ways we substitute other measurements outside of school life.  This is a challenge I can't pass up, particularly if it is likely that someone can post more, better, or funnier ones than me.  Here are several off the top of my head (which on good days is five Scale feet ten and half inches off the ground without shoes):

1.  Bad cholesterol.
2.  Good cholesterol.
3.  Pounds.
4.  Golf handicap.
5.  Inches taller than Childress.
6.  Delta Frequent Flyer Miles.
7.  Total count of "Great Philosopher Finger Puppet" collection.
8.  Number of the American Film Institute Top 100 movies I have seen.
9.  Zulu coconuts collected.

[Jeff Lipshaw]

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While not a law professor, I answered her question 'How do you measure yourself outside of school?' as follows:

My list:
1. Amount of hair sloughed from head after combing
2. Days of week I rode my bicycle to school
3. Pieces of mail received that are not 'junk-mail'
4. Times I cleaned out the cat litter box (towards goal of doing my fair share...)
5. Trips to the kitchen during off hours
6. Daily naps that exceed one hour
7. Days I don't care if my socks are color coordinated with what appears above
8. Number of successive days I've failed to clean the toilets (toward goal of not doing my fair share...) while simultaneously not thinking of how Gandhi chastised his wife when she refused to take her turn at 'night soil' chores in their communal household in South Africa
9. Length of time elapsed from last time I checked for e-mail
10. Number of years still married to my infinitely patient wife (27 yrs.+)

Posted by: Patrick S. O'Donnell | Apr 4, 2007 6:43:54 AM

How about "number of children admitted to Ivy League graduate schools"? Ahem!

Posted by: Arielle | Apr 4, 2007 12:57:35 PM

1. Number of children admitted to Ivy League graduate schools = 1.

2. Number of children admitted to elite public universities = 2.

3. Number of children admitted to elite private universities = 3.

4. Number of children who are Sarah Lawrence College graduates = 1.

5. Number of children who are James B. Angell Scholars = 1.

6. Number of children referred to as "the fastest woman in Indianapolis" by Brain Game team coach = 1.

7. Number of children still as ultimate beneficiaries of estate plan = 3.

Posted by: Jeff Lipshaw | Apr 5, 2007 7:02:28 AM

Number of hummel figurines collecting dust in a china cabinet.

Number of Pokemon "caught."

Quantity of novelty jackelope taxidermy heads on your campus office wall.

How often you get your hair cut or change your socks.

Quantity of Scotch drank in a single sitting.

Posted by: jps | Apr 5, 2007 8:40:03 AM

Now you just need some convenient way of commensurating the metrics. I'm putting 90% of my score's weight on "inches taller than mean of Childress/Lipshaw").

Posted by: Frank | Apr 5, 2007 11:34:34 AM

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