Homeland Security USA

Oh brother. Tom Shales (Washington Post) review of the newest reality show:

Homeland security may not be a laughing matter, but ABC's new "Homeland Security USA" has a certain fitful risibility -- like when border agents capture a cache of sinister plastic toys, or discover that one of the items seized as "confiscated food" and initially identified as "a prohibited meat item of unknown origin" turns out to be barbecued bat from Thailand. Eeeuuww.

While the series -- an upscale "Cops" with an international air -- oozes with praise for the "thousands of dedicated men and women" whose job it is to keep saboteurs from gaining entry into the United States, nary a single solitary terrorist is nabbed in the opening episode. Instead, the agents make drug bust after drug bust, at one point confiscating a set of glass pipes even though their owner has no illegal substances in his possession.

The Young Man With a Bong does have a good, if cheeky, question for the Border Patrol: Will he be reimbursed for the pinched pipes? Answer: just a snicker from an agent.

ABC's cameras join homeland security forces at San Ysidro, Calif., on the Mexican-American border; at Los Angeles International Airport, familiarly identified with the appropriate abbreviation, LAX; and in Blaine, Wash., site of a crossing on the Canadian-American line. Wait -- wasn't Blaine the hapless little hamlet in Christopher Guest's 1996 comedy "Waiting for Guffman"? Yes and no -- it was Blaine, Mo. Click here for the rest of the piece.

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