My blog has been quiet for a while. Partly because my professional life has been keeping me pretty busy, and partly because my mother always told me that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. On one hand, many of my readers simply relate more to the un-nice struggles divorce and post-divorce-life brings. On the other hand, with all of the turmoil being broadcast in our local, national and international news, my diatribes about the difficulties faced by divorced and blended families seemed petty and trivial.
These petty and trivial challenges have been the foundation for countless articles, books and seminars regarding divorce, step-parenting, blended families and all of the trials and tribulations people face when tearing down one relationship and rebuilding another. Looking back over the years, our family has weathered many storms. We’ve danced around the ring over the typical fights spawned from differences in child-rearing styles to disagreements over financial support. We’ve sneered, scowled and said nasty things about one another. We’ve put our children in the middle of arguments and made them feel uncomfortable. We’ve made our friends and family feel uncomfortable and forced them to choose sides. We’ve behaved badly. And time marched on.
As time marched on, our need to fight over every little thing started to wane. Somehow the energy required to find fault in the other parent was less important than channeling that energy into rebuilding our new lives. The metamorphosis was painstakingly slow, but the day did finally arrive, when we had all just learned to tolerate each other for the greater good. Our children were worth the effort to simply be civil and find common ground on which we could agree. Or at least agree to disagree.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal journey as a wife and stepmom in this blended family.
Read more here.