Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Luck That Arrives in an Email

The other night I was working  away writing posts for this blog, when I happened to notice an email somehow caught in my junk mail filter. This email was from the "FBI" and contained excellent and exciting news (by now, I hope you realize my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek).  This email informed me that I had won $800,000 in the UK National Lottery.  This email was signed by "James Brien Comey FBI DIRECTOR" which caused me some consternation since James B. Comey is the Director of the FBI, as I confirmed by googling it, but I don't think it came from Director Comey since the email doesn’t use FBI or .gov in the address (just guessing).

Of course, I have a long history of luck from total strangers in other countries. In fact, I once won a Brazilian lottery .... the same day....even though I've never been to Brazil.  I clearly have a highly trusted profile on the internet--or maybe my face is just one of those trustworthy ones, because it seems that I get a fair number of emails from folks in other countries who are just trying to do the right thing and keep their corrupt governments from profiting from the government's bad acts.  And despite the fact I have not practiced law for almost 3 decades, I keep getting emails from folks who want to hire me to represent them to collect back child support, or outstanding loans for businesses or for some type of business deal.

I mentioned my good luck to a colleague. Turns out she was lucky as well, since she also won the UK National lottery and coincidentally the exact same amount as I did...on the same day.  Wow. But now, I think I have her beat because a few days later I got FIVE emails, two wanting to hire me, one in another language (but I think I won something) and two informing me of my continued my good fortune.  I won another lottery, this time in Asia (to the tune of $5 Million).

But wait, the last email had even more exciting news, from the "International Monetary Fund" no less (if you believe they use a Hotmail email account).  I am either a victim of a scam, a contractor, a lottery winner or a beneficiary and am entitled to $8.5 MILLION. Not to appear greedy, but I've decided not to respond until I win at least One BILLION Dollars (with apologies to Mike Myers as Dr. Evil).

Needless to say, I was thrilled to see the Senate Committee on Aging's press release (we covered it in a post on November 14, 2013 ) about the hotline for consumer scams. We clearly need to be more proactive in protecting elders from scams. As the holidays approach, you can believe we will see even more scams. So since I didn't really win the UK Lottery, am not accepting outside legal work, or entitled to any of these wonderful windfalls, I better go prepare for my class.

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