Tuesday, May 31, 2005

This just in....

E-mail communications between lawyer and client are protected by the attorney client privilege.  But it's always best to cover your bases. We like elder law attorney John Payne's confidentiality notice and disclaimer:

This electronic transmission may contain information vital to national
security, subject to the attorney-client privilege, in violation of the
privilege against self-incrimination, personally embarrassing to the
President or other high officials, or simply Very Imporatant.  The
within electronic transmission, whether actually transmitted
electronically or printed using teletype, dot-matrix, thermofax,
inkjet, laser, or quill-and-paper copying from the monitor or other
method of display, without regard to whether the display is CGA, EGA,
IGA, VGA, Super-VGA, or XGA, and without regard to whether the monitor
is monochrome or color, CRT, LCD, plasma, or a candle behind a stencil,
or manually conveyed, mailed, FedExed, UPSed, Airborned, Suborned,
Borned-Again, or shot across the room with a rubber band (hereinbelow
referred to as an email) and all information contained herein is
subject to absolute privilege and is confidential and is intended to be
read or used by no one, including the individuals or entities
identified in the communication "To"and "Copy" addresses.  Whether or
not you are not the intended recipient, or an employee or agent
responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, or an innocent
bystander (assuming that such an entity exists) you are hereby
forbidden to read any of the forgoing and are ordered, on pain of
death, to forget everything you have read, to immediately burn any
hardcopy reproduction of this email and ingest the ashes, and to
hard-format all drives on the receiving machine or network, forthwith.
You are also ordered to immediately transmit a lethal virus to the ISP
server from which this communication eminated in order to prevent any
further dissemination.  You are ordered not to read, save, print,
distribute or copy this communication in any way.  You have received
this communication in error.  If you think you are the correct
recipient, please notify us immediately by telephone at 313 563 4900,
or by carrier pigeon, then delete the original communication from your
system and destroy any printed copies that may have been made, just in
case you are, in fact, not the correct recipient.  The person or entity
listed in the "From" address rarely types an email address--or anything
else--correctly, so it is extremely unlikely that this email is
anything other than a huge mistake, for which the person or entity
listed in the "From" address offers his, her, or its abject apology,
but denies any legal liability, and in fact denies actually having
transmitted, sent, mailed, or otherwise conveyed anything.
Furthermore, the person or entity listed in the "From" address
disclaims any and all liability for any injury arising out of or from
any statement or information contained in this email. The reader agrees
to release the person or entity listed in the "From" address and anyone
who might be responsible for his debts, from any action or claim, of
whatever nature, arising from the transmission or conveyance of this
email--which transmission or conveyance is expressly denied.  This
release shall be binding on the reader and anyone who might claim
through the reader or on the reader's behalf.
This is a full release of every sort of liability, whether the reader
knows that there is potential liability or not.  The reader expressly
waives any law providing that releases only apply to claims that are
known to the person executing the release.

The above legal advice is conveyed and warranted to be free of all
claims and encumbrances and is guaranteed to be worth the price paid
for it.  This express warranty is offered in lieu of all implied
warranties and the reader specifically waives any implied warranty of
merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.  The author
explicitly reserves the right to eat any word or words above, with or
without just cause and with or without condiments.  This is a work of
fiction and any resemblance to any person, living, dead or unborn, or
to any actual legal principle, is not only unintended, but probably a
mistake.  Readers are advised to consult competent legal counsel before
acting in reliance on any portion of the above, including any
disclaimer expressed or implied.  Readers are further warned that the
only difference between a Boy Scout  troop and the bar associations of
most states is that the Boy Scout troop has adult supervision.
Therefore the accuracy and value of the advice of competent legal
counsel other than the author are specifically included in this
disclaimer of all warranties.  The act of reading this post, however
odious or unpleasant, shall not be deemed detrimental reliance giving
rise to a contract requiring the author to give fair consideration by
writing something sensible.  This disclaimer should be read before
anything above and the reader expressly admits having read and fully
understood this disclaimer before reading any of the above drivel.

Used with permission, of course.


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