UPDATED Convenience Store Etiquette 101

When you ask a convenience store clerk to microwave a friend's urine to help you pass a drug test: 1) don't use metal; and 2) don't use a hollow, fake penis known as the whizzinator.  Because, as cooperative as the clerk wants to be, the clerk will become alarmed, think she is microwaving a severed penis, and call the police.  Then you'll have more to worry about than losing your job. [Mark Godsey]  BREAKING NEWS: Pair charged.