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Editor: D. A. Jeremy Telman
Valparaiso Univ. Law School

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Monday, March 9, 2009

Terminator IV: Attack of the Litigious Producer

ArnoldYeah, that's right, Arnold. While you're off governing California, your franchise is in the courts! According to this article in The Daily Express (which, according to its website, is "the World's Greatest Newspaper"), Moritz Bowman, one of the producers of the forthcoming "Terminator Salvation" (which looks awesome, by the way), is suing fellow producers, Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicek, alleging that they did not pay him his full producing fee and hijacked the production in July 2008. Although the New York Times reports that the producing fee in question was $5 million, the Daily Express reports that the law suit seeks $200 million in damages.

In my view, Mr. Bowman is barking up the wrong tree with his lawsuit. It's obvious to me that Anderson and Kubicek are really cyborgs disguised as humans and bent on the destruction of the human race by cornering the market in high-end sci-fi special effects movies. That leaves Mr. Bowman only two options.

1. Get in touch with John Connor. And do it quick. Contact Linda Hamilton's agent. She'll know where to find him.

2. Transport yourself back in time and make certain that the Bowman/Anderson/Kubicek alliance is void ab initio.

[Jeremy Telman]

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