Friday, November 12, 2004
[Homer Simpson is at the bank seeking a loan to buy his daughter Lisa a pony]
Homer: Uh, I need to borrow $5,000.
Bank Clerk: Sorry, I can’t approve a loan that big myself. I’ll have to get someone with authority.
[Clerk leaves. Mr. Burns and Smithers appear]
Mr. Burns: Hello!
Homer: Mr. Burns! You do this personally?
Mr. Burns: Well, it’s sort of a hobby, you know. Now, what’s this? You want to borrow $5,000 to buy a pony? Smithers, isn’t that wonderful! He’s joining the horsey clan! [to Homer, lowered voice] That is it, isn’t it? You’re not going to eat it, are you?
Homer: No! I need $5,000 to buy a pony for my daughter because she doesn’t love me any more . . . .
Smithers: Shut up, Simpson! Do you have any collateral?
Mr. Burns: Oh, Smithers, let’s not badger the man! His spirit is my collateral! [to Homer] By the way, are you familiar with our state’s anti-usury laws?
Mr. Burns: Oh, silly me! I must have just used a word that doesn’t exist. Sign here!
[Homer signs contract. Burns laughs manically, then coughs and laughs sweetly when Homer looks at him]
Mr. Burns: Sorry, I was just thinking of something funny Smithers said today.
Smithers: I didn’t say anything funny, sir.
Mr. Burns: [whispering] Shut up!