Sunday, September 10, 2017
Yes, today is National Grandparents Day. I would not have known that fact except I am staring at my larger-than-life planner at work that proclaims the celebration below the date.
I grew up with only one living grandparent, my grandmother on my mother's side. That precious lady taught me much about integrity, hard work, forgiveness, and kindness. We were blessed to have her with us until she was 102 years young. I still miss her. Photographs of her on my bookshelf always bring a smile to my lips and warm memories.
Each year, we have a number of our law students lose a precious grandparent during the academic year. Some students are too far from home to be by the grandparent's side to say goodbye. Many are fortunate to travel home to be at a bedside. For some, their grandparents were in ill health for a long time. Others have had no warning prior to their deaths.
For some law students, that grandparent was the parent because of family circumstances. Many of our law students grew up with strong extended families living nearby. Small-town Texas often means that grandparents are next door or down the street. The ties are strong and lasting. The heart is deeply involved in that relationship.
Of course, the law school works administratively with each student in the individual circumstances when a student tells us of a grandparent's death: notifications to professors of absences, moved assignment deadlines, moved exams. In addition, if appropriate to the individual student circumstances, referrals for counseling are also made: university wellness center, grief counselors, pastoral counseling.
Because of our individual contacts with students, we as ASP'ers are often aware of the student's grief and its impact on their academics. A certain number of students reveal that a death in the family is one reason they have lost focus at critical points in the semester.
I am not a clinical psychologist. I know my limits and expertise. But I can be there for the student by listening and expressing that I care. I can understand the lack of focus, inability to organize well, and possible need to travel home for more frequent family support. I can help students find study strategies that realistically work to improve their academics while recognizing that their hearts may override their heads at times. I consider it a privilege to assist students through their studies while they process their grief.
On this National Grandparents Day, may we all take a few minutes to give our grandparents who are still with us a phone call or hug. May we all take a few minutes to remember the special memories about our grandparents who have left us. (Amy Jarmon)