February 11, 2009
From Blame Game to Blessing
It is the time in the semester when blame seems to be going around at the same speedy rate as colds and flu. Students are feeling hassled because our weather is ping-ponging regularly between sunny 70s and freezing temperatures. (At your school, it may be ice and snow and torrential rains.) Stress is up because mid-term exams are either in progress or approaching within a few weeks.
We all blame other people or other things for our problems at times. After all, last time I checked, we are all human. And, because we are human, we sometimes get stuck in the blame cycle. It is far better if we can get beyond venting to implementing a plan of action to resolve the difficulty. (Even better, if we can also go the next step to a proactive plan to avoid the same problem in the future.)
Below are some of the common blame game statements that seem to be circulating right now. Each is coupled with an attitude switch to end the blaming and move on to finding the blessing in disguise:
- Blame: My professor has cancelled class so many times because of (fill in: illness, conference travel, special events) that it is impossible for me to understand the course. Blessing: Take advantage of the extra time to review the material and pull it together before class picks up again. Work with a classmate or Tutor/Teaching Assistant if necessary.
- Blame: My professor is so far behind in the syllabus that it is a waste of time to read. Blessing: Review your prior reading before going into class so that you understand it at a deeper level. Use the time you do not need for reading to complete other study tasks: outline the course, review your outline, make flashcards, undertake practice questions.
- Blame: My professor has assigned a mid-term the day after my other mid-term and just before Spring Break because students want to leave early. Blessing: You still have enough weeks before the two mid-terms to schedule your studying to prepare for both mid-terms without sacrificing one grade for the other. Attorneys often have multiple deadlines and cope better if they have previously learned how to juggle multiple projects.
- Blame: My mid-term exam was impossible to (fill in: understand, complete in the time, know what to expect) because the professor did not (fill in: give us practice questions, teach the material, warn us it would be so hard). Blessing: You now have realistic expectations about the exams for this professor and how you need to study. You have time to review your mid-term exam, get suggestions on how to improve from the professor, take proactive measures, and bring your grade up on the final exam.
- Blame: Its nof fair that my professors are speeding up in class when I am busy with (fill in: job hunt for the summer, mock trial try-outs, legal writing projects). Blessing: Again, whether you are busy with personal or other academic tasks at this point in the semester, you are learning how to juggle multiple projects and deadlines. You are also learning about priorities. Attorneys need these skills. Learn it well now, and you will be more successful in the future.
So, I let my students vent a bit. Then, we get on with reality and a game plan to turn lemons into lemonade. (Amy Jarmon)
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